lowquality.net // Justin Dohrmann

Whiskerino 2005 has nearly one month left, and I’m reflecting prematurely on the experience.

First of all, if anyone ever considers getting into any kind of guarded online community that involves daily self-photography, I highly endorse it. The simple act of taking a picture of myself every day has been extremely therapeutic in ways I can’t even describe. Unlike the Relative Theory dudes, who take piles and piles of pictures of themselves every day, I am not a good photographer, and even more, I do not like to look at myself. I’d say Whiskerino has helped me to become better at both disciplines. When you are forced to look at yourself you are forced to deal with yourself, I’d say both physically and mentally. I feel like since I’ve started Whiskerino I have been more self-observant and have begun to know myself better– in ways I cannot really annunciate. I’ve come to terms with my post-high school abstinence from fashion and I’ve recognized that dressing like a 17 year old kid didn’t work for me when I was 17, and it sure as shit doesn’t work now that I am 26. I’m going to make an attempt at not looking like hell anymore, so, pending the money to buy nicer clothes, I will start dressing better. ECPI’s dress code is also a motivating factor. Starting to go to the gym is a huge result of seeing how fucking fat I have become. I can’t stand it anymore. I need to make some changes. This might seem lame and self-absorbed, but I promise that I never put much thought into this kind of stuff, and it’s all very new to me to be concerned with my appearance to such a degree.

The actual Whiskerino experience has been fairly enjoyable. I’ve made some cool new friends with whom I have almost nothing in common except that we can all grow beards and crack jokes on each other. I hope that I can maintain contact with these guys in the future, but even if that doesn’t happen I am proud to have known them. I’ve also succeeded in pissing off a handful of strangers who, hopefully, don’t take anything I’ve said to heart. I’m really not that much of a jerk in real life, the internet is a crazy place and sometimes things get taken too seriously, or a cadence is missing in the written word that would be totally understood in person, or I went too far because I didn’t pick up on a signal to knock it off. At any rate, I’m not that good at backing down from a spat, and that doesn’t make matters any better. However, some of these guys take this thing way too seriously, and all I am ever trying to do with my dickhead comments is jolt people back to reality and say “Hey, it’s a beard contest! Get over yourself!”

Some of my Bearded Brothers are requesting my pressence at the Throwndown in February. I’m not really interested in driving out to Nashville (and burning the gas required to get there) just to see the four or five conestants I’m friendly with, so the lazy side of me says “nah.” However, those four or five new friends are pretty fucking awesome, and almost awesome enough to make the trip worth it. I’m considering it, Kim has made a hole in her schedule for the throwdown if we decide to go. We probably won’t decide until the last minute.

My beard itself has surprised even me. I am surprised at how red it is. I remember when my hair was the same color. I made an extra special attempt to not trim the beard for the duration of the contest, just to see what it looks like, but I did end up trimming the moustache once early on, I let it grow again and waited out the itch. The main annoyance has been that I have very dry skin, and “beard dandruff” is a new reality. I constantly lotion my shaven face throughout the day, and I make every effort to compensate my coffee habit with glasses of water. With the beard, however, this annoyance seems to be heightened. I actaually bought Neutrogena dandruff shampoo… to put on my face.