Yesterday Kim and I heard 96X (a local radio station) promote an “All 90’s Rock Weekend.” Kim got excited, and I shook my head.
“You know, this is what it’s gonna be like,” I said. “when we’re fifty.”
“What do you mean?”
“You flip on the oldies station and then it’s ‘Mommy, mommy? What’s that weird instrument’? and you have to tell them, ‘That’s Ben Folds, he played the grand piano. It was like a keyboard but it had strings in it.’ ”
or perhaps…
“Momma what’s that bad man doing to that guitar?”
“That’s no bad man, that’s Thurston Moore, and he’s smashing the shit out of that guitar.”
or maybe…
“Why does that weird man sing like that?”
“That’s Billy Corgan. I have no fucking idea. Go back to bed.”
(everybody come with your own example of explaining 90’s rock to your kids in the style that I am using)
“Daddy, what’s thissszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………………………………….”
“That’s *yawn* Alice in Chainzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………….*snore*…………”
“nnnnnnnnnytyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa can’t ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh bbbbbbbbbeeeeeeettttttttttttaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhddd a mmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn”
“honey, what are you singing?”
“oh, mommy, i don’t know. i heard it in your hovercraft the other day. you were taking me to soccer”.
“oh, really?”
“yeah, the guy on the radio said something about pearl jelly or something”
can you imagine some of the ‘popular’ stuff that gets sold on those comp cds they sell on tv commercials?
daddy?
yes dear?
who let the dogs out?
go to your room!