lowquality.net » Musician / Geek

So today, at lunch, I go for a walk around Town Center, to Barnes & Noble and then across Virginia Beach Blvd. to Kohl’s and walk through the store and into the mall. Somewhere inside of the hobby shop that has a Lego sign but no actual Lego products, it hits me that I can eat a little dark chocolate during Phase 1 of south beach so I head for Sweet Tooth at Pembroke mall to get a couple of those Ghiradelli squares (which are perfect because they aren’t too much candy but still hit the spot).

When I get there, the lady behind the counter is chatting away on her cell with someone about co-pays and doctor’s offices. Basically sounding like a know-it-all. I walk past her towards the pre-wrapped candy bars like a man on a mission and, about a minute later, I guess, it occurs to her that I might need some help and she yells (really, YELLS) “CAN I HELP YOU!?!” in her nasally, obnoxious Long Island-ish, Muppet voice and I say, almost under my breath, “no, I’m ok.”

I locate the 60% cocoa Ghiradelli squares and snatch up three of them. I go up to the counter and she puts her call on hold and says “How many? Three?” and I nod.

She rings them up at $1.51 and I whip out my bank card.

“Are you kidding me?” she says.

Even though it was obvious that she was a pain in the ass before I hit the counter, her complete rudeness caught me off guard. “I don’t have any cash,” I say.

“You should always carry some cash,” she scolds. “at least five dollars.”

“Never. I lose it too easily. I don’t even have a billfold.” I hold up my open wallet and make the big-eyed you so stoopid face at her.

“Really?” she paused and made the kind of condescending exhalation that means the same as rolling your eyes without the stigma of getting immediately punched in the face by a husky nerd on a diet.

I was seriously about to let her get the last word until she did that.

“This is the year 2009, you know,” I said. Kind of picking a fight.

“Well some businesses won’t accept credit cards for only 1.50.”

I scanned the cash register for a minimum card purchase sign. I saw no such sign. “I don’t go to those businesses,” I said.

“Well have a nice day.”

“Enjoy your phone call.”

The truth is that I DO sometimes go to cash-only places. Kin’s Wok on 21st street is one of my favorite Chinese restaurants and I will make a trip to the ATM to go there. If I happen to have some extra singles and no coffee beans in the house, I will hit up Elliott’s for coffee on Colley Ave (they accept credit cards but have a $20 minimum which is El Retardo, in my book). I understand why over-privileged small business owners think its such a hassle to accept credit transactions for such small amounts, its because they don’t feel they should pay a fee for $1.51. What they don’t understand (or care about) is that as soon as I take a $20 bill out of an ATM, it’s gone. Instead of going to a coffee shop and paying a couple of bucks for an Americano with my bank card, I’ve taken out 20 bucks I can no longer account for. It’s spent. Maybe I should be better at managing my cash, but I’m the customer, so fuck you and gimme my damn candy.

She was obviously the (or one of) the owners, no retail employee would give a customer that much shit about a credit card transaction, they would just do it. I can’t decide if I should reward her disservice by avoiding her shop and paying a little extra at the very fancy Royal Chocolate in Town Center or if I should KEEP going there every week so she keeps getting charged a fee every time she swipes my card. I should add that I was the only customer in the store. At 12:30PM on a weekday, and she’s giving me shit about using my credit card.