I’d say for the most part things have evened out for me. I don’t feel so out of it. In some ways I am way too relaxed and I just want to sleep all of the time. This is a HUGE difference because I used to hate going to bed early, and I would often have weird panicky nightmares if I took a nap after work then I’d be pissed off because I “wasted” my evening sleeping instead of (not) doing other things. I can never recall the subject matter of the nightmares, I just know that I would have them and that they were usually pretty grim. It’s nice to be so relaxed, but it’d be nice to not be SO relaxed. Maybe it will swing back a little in the coming week. Stuff like that used to seem pretty normal to me, and just the little bit of distance I am able to get away from it I can see how fucking out of mind I really was.
I was quitting coffee with Kim for Lent prior to getting on this anti-anxiety med, but now I am so sleepy in the morning that I need to imbibe some kind of caffeine to get by. I’m not drinking in front of her (this whole Lent thing is really more for her than me, I was just trying to be supportive), but I get some opportunity for coffee at work. I am finding that the combination of the caffeine and the SSRI are amazing. Not am I just in a better mood, but I am goddamn happy.
Weight is still down near low 220’s. Going to the gym tonight. Been playing bass a little more often than normal, the desire wasn’t quite there for the first week because I felt so dopey. Have noticed a stronger desire to be listening to music at home, which has been almost non-existent for some time.
In case anyone was wondering, I have been intentionally avoiding the use of the brand name of my medication just to keep the comment spam down. Ironically enough if you go to the old, hyphenated version this domain (that I no longer own) someone is selling the specific drug on that site.
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