Went to an open mic last night to sit in and jam with some friends. Didn’t play as much as I would have liked but it scratched the itch. Hung out with some people I haven’t seen in awhile which was also nice and took the fretless bass out in a live setting for the first time since I got it. Those Lindy Fralin single coil pickups sound amazing!
Since I switched the time of day that I take my anxiety meds I have felt like, maybe, the drug’s effects were tapering off a bit, but I also thought maybe it just seemed that way since I was probably asleep when the drug was at its most potent. Nevertheless, I’ve been– perhaps irrationally– concerned that the usefulness of the medication would eventually wear out completely (something I’ve read about that does happen, but usually over a considerable period of time). Since I seemed to recognize changes resulting from the use of the medication almost immediately (which I didn’t expect) I have been wondering how long it would remain as effective as it has been. I have no real reason to believe itbecause I don’t feel anxious or panicky but I am starting to get to a point where feeling relaxed is “normal” and that’s just unusual for me.
At any rate, last night may have been the first I’ve gone out to some kind of activity since taking the medication and my concerns that the drug was no longer working as potently were dismissed immediately. I found that playing music while on the anti-anxiety med allowed me to focus much more on following the song (I was improvising unrehearsed with other players and didn’t know the song) and get more into the music. I even felt myself moving to the music more than I normally might.
There’s always a little bit of stage fright before I perform and the drug didn’t remove that completely (which I am thankful for.. if this were to become a completely fearless activity I don’t think I could keep doing it) but instead of feeling like my heart was beating out of my chest (which is often the case for even the most rehearsed performances) it was just a little pang of nervous excitement.
Perhaps I am simply less aware of the drug because I’ve been taking the pill after work (when I am usually less anxious anyway), I am more ready to relax around the house and don’t notice a great difference between “normal” me and “under the influence” me.
