Been hesitant to write more because I’ve been so out of it I didn’t think it would make any sense. Decided to start taking my pill in the evenings, which is seeming to help. I’ve been feeling completely zonked out for the last couple of days. If I sit still for too long I would just go to sleep.
I still hate my job. There’s no medication for that, I think. I still feel totally trapped but not quite as overwhelmed. The panic is gone but there’s a lot more apathy in it’s place. Were it not for the fear of Kim and I living on the streets (or worse, with our parents) I think I could easily walk out of there without a second thought.
Weighed myself this morning, 221lbs., which is unbelievable. My original diet goal was 220lbs but I didn’t think I’d ever get close. Don’t know if it will stick, though. I haven’t been eating like I normally would. I have an appetite but I am also a stress eater and– even since I’ve been dieting, this hasn’t changed. But since a lot of the stress is gone I’m not snacking as much. Also my blood pressure went down like 10 points in a week. Pretty crazy.
Go, you.