Not even sure how many days its been. For the most part I feel pretty normal. I wouldn’t say I feel foggy like I was last week. Doctor’s appointment yesterday informed me that my blood pressure had gone down 30 points in two weeks on anti-anxiety meds. I think, for the most part, I feel so much better than I have in a very long time.
Still, the lack of unnecessary anxiety has left a void in me that I haven’t quite figured out how to fill. Without the irrational worry and fear I feel less motivated at work (though I enjoy my time spent there much more than I did). On the flip side, when I am home, I find myself pacing around the apartment– not in a state of panic, but in a state of profound boredom. None of my usual couch potato activities, once a refuge from my anxiety, seem worthwhile anymore. I’m sure there are a million things I could be doing, but I just haven’t gotten to the point of training my brain to crave these activities. It’s gonna take some time.
This Sunday I am going to hit an open mic where some of my friends play every week. They’re always there, but now suddenly this seems like something fun to do. Sometimes its just exciting to be excited. It’s been so long that I really looked forward to “playing-just-for-fun.”
REALLY wanting to learn guitar. I’m thinking if I can get some gigs lined up this Summer, I can probably afford to buy myself a Mexican HSS Strat and a decent little combo amp, but I also really dig those Faded series Gibsons (real American-made Gibson guitars under 1,000 bucks). I could probably trade Scott G. guitar lessons for bass lessons.
