Some shithead calling himself “Shin-Blade” was uninvitedly caressing my better half while she attended a friend’s wedding yesterday. In an effort to surpress my rage at the news of another man “rubbing my rhubarb” (so to speak), I calmed myself by taking a stab (sic) at the [body part] + [weapon] = [gay name] formula Mr. Blade obviously used to conjure up his moniker.
I think I succeeded in besting him with my results:
My first conclusion upon hearing this news was “Butt Gunn”.. which, of course, *I* thought was funny (as did John and Erwin) because guys generally think butts are funny, and that is because they are.
FACT: Butts are funny.
Lips Napalm, however, is what I have decided upon as the most amazing head-crushing name ever. Find me two more words that simultaneously conjure images of Apocalypse Now (”I love the smell of Napalm in the morning”) and Hulk Hogan (as Thunderlips in Rocky 3). This is basically what Chin Bomb has to look forward to if I even meet him:
Hulk Hogan dropping napalm on his philandering sissy surfer ass.
Ok, so, Kim made the mistake of telling me that Shit Blaster was on myspace so I found him and now I am posting his profile for all of you to observe:
http://www.myspace.com/shin_blade
This is apparently what he looks like… Darius Rucker meets Carlton Banks… the whitest black man on planet Earth.
I want to knock that doilie off his head.
